Merry Christmas, Andrew Berg! ~~~~~catch a wave~~~~~

a blissful mist white and crisp coats the ground cold and wet for tomorrow's set of waves to be found a snowy beach in our reach for this we pray to jesus christ who died for a price it's christmas, hey hands together and your eyes closed with your feet in the water god knows when you are surfing god knows when you are surfing pray while you surf pray to god pray to jesus pray for a rad wave a rad, rad wave

when chrismastime rolls around the bachelor's life is less profound i miss my daughter and my ex-wife i'm alone on christmas and i want my old life in the past, i've been naive but the snow on the ground makes me pensive it's too cold to catch a wave and it's love that i crave i owe you an apology my dear surfing wife our daughter's loss was tragic but not worth leaving your life giving gifts to myself makes me feel like an elf masturbating every night is simply not right i miss your warm touch and your fingers in my butt i'd ask you to peg me with a plastic thing in the butt, in the butt i owe you an apology my dear surfing wife our daughter's loss was tragic but not worth leaving your life and now i'm horny on christmas and all i can think of is you and that the new-fallen snow looks like cum oh, the new-fallen snow looks like cum

i texted berg to see if he wanted to surf maybe he said he was busy and that's fine and that’s fine we'll surf again this new years

joshua i'm sorry i made you see krampus with me i thought it'd be fun for both of us oh, how wrong i can be that i can now see i was wrong to make you go see the movie krampus with me like three years ago.

Angels from the realms of glory Stars shone bright above Royal David's city Was bathed in the light of love Jesus Christ was born today Jesus Christ was born Jesus Christ was born today Jesus Christ was born Lo, they did rejoice Fine and pure of voice And the wrong shall fail And the right prevail Jesus Christ was born today Jesus Christ was born Jesus Christ was born today Jesus Christ was born (And we're gonna get born now)

AnDrEw BEEEERRRRRRRGGGG (is an elf) whoooooooooo liiiiiiiivessssss in my StOcKiNg

white beard and a red hat with swim trunks to match sitting in his favorite chair with a flower in his hair summer santa got a new board today he's gonna shred the gnar forever and give your presents away santa you're a jolly fella finish your drink w/ the umbrella stand up! don't wait for your grave! get out there! it's time to catch a wave! summer santa got a new board today he's gonna shred the gnar forever and give your presents away "go Chris! Hang 10!" they say but his name is Nick so he didn't look that way ~summer santa, catch a wave~~~~~~~~~ ~~summer santa, catch a wave~~~~~~~~ ~~~summer santa, catch a wave~~~~~~~ ~~~~~summer santa, catch a wave~~~~~ ~~~~~~summer santa, catch a wave~~~~ ~~~~~~~summer santa, catch a wave~~~ ~~~~~~~~summer santa, catch a wave~~ ~~~~~~~~~summer santa, catch a wave~

Santa Claus sunk my surfboard! Why’d I let him borrow it? He’s too fat to surf! Santa Claus sank my surfboard I wish he went with it And I’m pissed off Santa Claus sunk my surfboard I’m fucking pissed off Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

What does surfing have to do with christmas? Everything! La la la la la la What does surfing have to do with christmas? Everything! La la la la la la Let’s rock! Yeah! Guitar solo! Rock! Roll! Yeah! What does surfing have to do with christmas? Everything! La la la la la la!

I hate christmas There I said it I hate christmas No, I don’t regret it I don’t think it’s wonderful AndI don’t think it’s grand There’s one reason This holiday I can’t stand: Christmas is the embodiment of capitalism And everything wrong in the world It commodifies art and surfing And makes us Marxists feel like turds We are the Andrew berg surf band But now to our canon Will we add: Our hatred for capitalism And our fulfillment of a niche For a socialist utopia Is well within reach If we all grab a surfboard And take our comrades in hand Tear down those christmas lights The proletariat will stand.

On the first day of Surfmas Andrew Berg gave to me: a surfboard for surfing. On the second day of Surfmas Andrew Berg gave to me: a surfboard for surfing and a surfboard for surfing. On the third day of Surfmas Andrew Berg gave to me: a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing and a surfboard for surfing. On the fourth day of Surfmas Andrew Berg gave to me: a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing and a surfboard for surfing. On the fifth day of Surfmas Andrew Berg gave to me: F i V e G o L d E n RrrriiiiIIIiiiiiiiinnnNNggssss a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing and a surfboard for surfing. On the sixth day of Surfmas Andrew Berg gave to me: a surfboard for surfing F i V e G o L d E n RrrriiiiIIIiiiiiiiinnnNNggssss a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing and a surfboard for surfing. On the seventh day of Surfmas Andrew Berg gave to me: a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing F i V e G o L d E n RrrriiiiIIIiiiiiiiinnnNNggssss a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing and a surfboard for surfing. On the eighth day of Surfmas Andrew Berg gave to me: a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing F i V e G o L d E n RrrriiiiIIIiiiiiiiinnnNNggssss a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing and a surfboard for surfing. On the ninth day of Surfmas Andrew Berg gave to me: a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing F i V e G o L d E n RrrriiiiIIIiiiiiiiinnnNNggssss a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing and a surfboard for surfing. On the tenth day of Surfmas Andrew Berg gave to me: a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing F i V e G o L d E n RrrriiiiIIIiiiiiiiinnnNNggssss a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing and a surfboard for surfing. On the eleventh day of Surfmas Andrew Berg gave to me: a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing F i V e G o L d E n RrrriiiiIIIiiiiiiiinnnNNggssss a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing and a surfboard for surfing. On the twelth day of Surfmas Andrew Berg gave to me: a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing F i V e G o L d E n RrrriiiiIIIiiiiiiiinnnNNggssss a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing a surfboard for surfing and a surfboard for surfing.

wHoooooOOOOOoooooo000ooooooOOOOO!

Hey there noel Can I call you noey? This place is hell When it gets snowy I changed your name For the sake of a rhyme It’s not that lame Lemons and lime I’m off topic this is a love song a penis is a dick a penis is a dong I’ll start over This is a disaster Red rover At songwriting I’m the master. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hey there noel Can I call you noey This place is hell When it gets snowy When we are together Shredding the gnar And There’s snow on the ground I think life is gnar I miss you And I miss the coast Surfing on christmas Is what I miss the most

if you want to know the words, listen. to the poetics, and to the delivery. just listen.

j'ai envoyé un texto au berg pour voir s'il voulait peut-être surfer il a dit qu'il était occupé et c'est bien et c’est bien nous allons surfer à nouveau cette nouvelle année

Merry Christmas, Andrew Berg! ~~~~~catch a wave~~~~~ Andrew Berg! It's Christmas! Andrew Berg! It's Christmas! Andrew Berg! It's Christmas! Andrew Berg! It's Christmas! Andrew Berg!